the sound of snoring used to bug me… especially when I can’t sleep at night. but now I have changed. the sound of snoring can be music to my ears… lol. it just depends who is producing these sounds. from Zach… I am damn happy to hear him snoring which means he is deep asleep and I can finally rest a bit. it took over and hour to get him to sleep tonight, of course with this spring time change. it does not help just me bit!
this is the second consecutive night where I am tired but can’t sleep. last night I thought it was the coffee that kept me up until 3 am. I think I am getting withdrawls from my nice 8 days straight of stress-free-ness LA vacation. and I miss the glowing sunshine. and been dealing with grouchy z and fussy Zach. and the other things that I will just keep in my head for now.
life really doesn’t get any easier than before. suck it up is what I keep telling myself. I chose this path. lol. I am already pretty lucky tho I have to admit. tho everything including this luckiness comes with consequences. one thing I learned well was everything came with consequences. this of course helped me get to where I am now… but often I do ask myself… do I think a tad too much? what if i was a bit more “brave” aka reckless? how would things be? but of course I am just gonna bury this thought because I got two zs to look after now… I think I will be sticking to the more conservative side of things. but of course it doesn’t stop my head from wandering off and day dream. what if… what if… and what ifs.
I am no doubt that I am still sadden that I lost a friend. on the surface.. I haven’t. tho there were some absolutely insanely whacky times but I guess it just shows that the bond we had was just exaggerated. oh well. life goes on.
those five words have been used quite frequently by me lately. from new manager at work. worrying about layoffs at work. dealing with my mom. dealing with kids. dealing with fam issues. dealing with relationships issues… dealing with myself. the list definately doesn’t stop there.
bb's memories 